The Walk

Or

How I Lost My Ability to be Cool

Dear Readers, 

I've been wracking my brain all week in order to bring you something. Not that interesting things haven't happened to me, just that I'm not sure which one I want to write for you. So, rather than tell you something from this past week/month, I thought you'd like to take a trip back in time with me. 

gif via http://gifsoup.com/view/4921242/time-vortex.html
clip via Doctor Who

We are in California circa 2002(-ish). Wait...This isn't far back enough.

via http://gifsoup.com/view/3062546/clock-going-backwards.html

It's 1993:

via: My Mom

That's way too far back...This time travel thing is hard. Last try.

Gif via http://wifflegif.com/gifs/253889-back-to-the-future-delorean-gif
Clip via Back To The Future

We are in Lincoln City, Oregon. 2000(-ish). Perfect. 

I am in elementary school. I'm actually sort of cool. I have friends of all sorts. I'm not sure if I'm legitimately cool, but I do fit in with the cool kids, life is good for a fourth grader. 

And then we move to California. I won't give you the boring details. I will leave it as: I was no longer cool, because unlike classwork social standing doesn't transfer. Fifth grade was an interesting experience. We ended up in a neighborhood that (at least to my fifth grader mind) was sort of well to do. 

Now, my family isn't poor by any means, but I'd not consider us "well to do" more...Middleish, sometimes lower/middle. I've always felt some kinship to Harry from Caddyshack II:

"Well, at home we happen to be upper/lower. But, when I'm away at school I like to pretend that I'm lower/middle. But, what I aspire to become is middle/middle."

So, I'm trying to compete with kids that are either lower/upper or middle/upper. It's a real struggle. But I'm almost there. I'm so close to being cool I can taste it. Sixth grade is going to be my year. 

Aside: It is important for you to also know that during this time my Dad ran a shoe store that I helped at a lot. I spent any allowance I made helping out on shoes (because why not?).

One of my most favorite pairs of shoes I had looked like this:

via http://miz-mooz.com/

These are wedges, that are also tennis shoes. Mine did not look exactly like this, but, pretty close. 

They were so cute. I felt awesome in them. Naturally, I decided to wear them to school my first week. Gotta make that good impression on those middle school kids. 

Bonus, we lived close enough to the school for me to walk with a friend. I was going to be so cool, not getting dropped off. 

So my good friend at the time and I are walking, behind us I can hear older girls chatting away. I'm looking pretty fly all dressed up in my tennis shoe heels. 

Rockin' it. 

And then it happens. 

My world ends. 

The apocalypse. 

Ragnarok.

The ground opened and I was swallowed whole.  

Oh, wait. No. That's just what I wish had happened. 

What really happened is my unsteady-in-heels self tripped on the uneven sidewalk, biting the dust in front of these (obviously cool) older girls. 

Realistically, I'm not sure if they were laughing at me, so much as laughing because they were preteen girls (and as someone who was one I can vouch that sometimes they just giggle for the sake of giggling). It didn't matter, though. My life was over. 

From that moment on two things happened. 

I have never been good in heels, because I am terrified of tripping. Even though it is a little funny when people trip, so long as they aren't seriously hurt. Tripping is just funny. 

The second is that I've never been cool. I don't know that this was caused by the trip, but I've certainly noticed a trend of uncool since then. I've spiraled down and down into dorky-ness. 

At this point in my life I've accepted that I'll never be cool. And I'm alright with that. 

But that, that trip in front of some cool kids, broke my little 6th grade heart.  

Luckily, I'm now at the point where I could really care less about how cool I was in school. Does this mean I don't look back and cringe at things like (I cringe just typing this) writing extensive Power Rangers Fan Fic? 

Uh, no. 

I cringe. Very hard. 

But that cringe, even that trip in front of the cool kids, made me the person I am. And, in my world, I'm pretty cool.